Whether you were looking for someone new or stumbled upon someone accidentally, deciding you want to remarry is incredibly exciting. Maybe you weren’t planning on tying the knot again, but if you meet the right person, what’s to stop you?
If you’re fairly certain you’re ready to remarry but still have some lingering thoughts and questions, we’re here to help. We also think a good night’s sleep is important for your mental health and feeling tired and irritable is going to put a strain on any relationship, personal and professional.
Sleep-deprived shoppers are flocking to buy Simba’s HybridⓇ Original mattress which many have described as ‘far and wide the most comfortable mattress I’ve ever slept on’ and ‘helping me to save my relationship’.
· ‘Sleep Divorces’ – popular with celebrities – where couples opt for separate bedrooms to escape snoring, fidgeting, and night-time disturbances, are growing in popularity. But sleep expert Lisa Artis, CEO at The Sleep Charity warns against this trend.
· A new study by Simba reveals a big generational divide on sleep’s importance in relationships. Over 60% of young Brits in relationships (aged 18-34) believe better sleep would improve their connection with their partner, while only 33% of baby boomers (aged 65+) agree.
Couples who have seen their relationships strained by sleep differences have been pleasantly surprised by the results of a state-of-the-art bed available at Simba, so consider this before you decide to share a bed with someone again.
Here are 7 remarriage questions to ask yourself before saying “I do” again:
1. Are There Any Issues Holding You Back?
Think about any unresolved issues you might have. Do you still feel resentment toward your ex? Do you share children or financial obligations? Are you enjoying your newfound freedom, unsure if you want to give it up?
If you move forward with a remarriage when you still have lingering issues, it’s bound to be a challenge.
2. Why Did Your Previous Marriage End?
Instead of blaming all of the issues on your ex, you need to be realistic about what you may have done to contribute to the divorce. Recognizing your role is necessary for the success of your next marriage.
Try to be as objective as possible and be honest with yourself about your own actions. What mistakes were made during your previous marriage that you need to work on for your next one? If you’re not willing to make improvements in yourself moving forward, your remarriage is more likely to be a repeat of your last one.
3. How Are You Going to Make the New Marriage a Priority?
While any relationship should be a priority, there are unique challenges that come with a remarriage. To start, make sure you and your partner are making time to spend together each week, even if it’s just 30 minutes at the end of the day!
Frequently check in with each other, plan regular date nights, and try something new together. Research shows that doing something new and exciting together can help with boredom in the relationship and actually bring you closer.
4. How Will I Communicate Differently?
The ways in which you communicate with your partner can make or break a relationship. Along with trust, good communication is a key ingredient in a successful remarriage. Work on active listening (making eye contact, keeping an open posture, being empathetic, not thinking about your reply while your partner is talking), don’t be afraid to open up about any concerns or worries, and — most importantly — put the phone away!
5. Do My New Partner and I Share the Same Values?
Before solidifying a remarriage, make sure you and your partner share the same values when it comes to commitment, trust, conflict, lifestyle, and future goals. If you have kids, it’s also helpful to be on the same page with parenting styles.
Most importantly, if you haven’t formed a strong connection and a willingness to stick with it during a rough patch, a remarriage might not be the best option right now.
6. What Are Your Roles with Each Other’s Children?
Research has shown that nearly one-third of Americans are part of a step-family. Poor relationships between stepparents and stepchildren are a big reason why remarriages don’t work out, so this should definitely be a top priority.
Before you remarry, you’ll need to make a solid plan with your partner about the roles each of you will play in step-relationships. You’ll need to think of every possible scenario when it comes to your new step-family and whether you’re both willing to put in the effort to make it work.
7. Am I Totally Ready to Remarry?
If you’re still on the fence about a remarriage, here are some signs that it might not be the right time:
- You still think about getting back together with your former spouse
- You still harbor a lot of resentment and bitter feelings against your ex
- You don’t feel like you can be totally honest with your new partner
- You don’t have the same values or goals as your new partner
If you’re still facing one of these issues, it doesn’t mean remarrying is impossible. It simply means you need to take a little more time to work through your problems before walking down the aisle again.
As long as you’re aware of the obstacles you might face and are honest with each other about expectations, you can make your remarriage a success! Focus on shared values and goals, improve your communication and conflict skills, and work with a couples therapist or relationship coach if you need a little extra help.