By Chrissy Iley
On the rooftop of a party in downtown LA I met Bria and Chrissy. I was drawn to them because, let’s face it, how many people have the same name as me with the same spelling? And because they were the most beautiful vibrant people at the party.
Bria and Chrissy are Youtube stars; they make comedic videos like ‘what lesbians do in bed’ – eat pizza and fart – and their multimillion hitter, ‘gay men touch vagina for the first time ’ (19 million views) and ‘lesbians touch penis for the first time’ (over 27 million views).
Behind all of this hilarity lurks something very serious: Chrissy had been the victim of revenge porn and she’s fighting it. Chrissy, full name Chrissy Emily Chambers, and she is pursuing her ex boyfriend in a landmark UK revenge porn action in a civil case. To say it’s been an emotional journey is like saying David Bowie’s death was only quite sad. This is an epic journey.
A week later we meet for breakfast and Chrissy says: “at first I’d never heard the term ‘revenge porn’, I didn’t know about this whole phenomenon. Videos of me and my ex-boyfriend were found online and I went to the police in Atlanta (where she then lived) and met a huge brick wall. “When I found about the term ‘revenge porn’ and to apply it to my case, I found another woman torn apart by her ex who’d posted images of her online and was out to ruin her life. She had to change her name and she coined the phrase ‘revenge porn’ to try and help the victims. We’ve had the scandal of hacking celebrities and their images but this is different. It’s not about a stranger hacking to make money.”
“Revenge porn can happen with somebody who knew you. Somebody who’s trying to get revenge even if there is nothing to get revenge for.” Chrissy was just 18 when she was dating her British boyfriend who was six and a half years older than her; she’d just moved to Atlanta from Mississippi and wanted to pursue an acting career. “He was from the UK because I originally wanted to go to school in the UK I found various online groups of students to see what their universities were like back when I was 16 I met him online and we stayed in touch. I first went to the UK in 2009; he was handsome and doting and I’d never been in a serious relationship.”
“Then he became possessive, jealous, controlling. He didn’t want me to go to auditions, he read all my emails because he didn’t even want me talking to another man. He came back to the States with me for a month and remained controlling. Even though I was broke he wouldn’t let me go to auditions or see my friends. I started to feel smothered and scared.”
“He was a martial artist and one time he got very upset and he hit the wall behind me. I said: ‘we have to take a break’, he was devastated but said ‘I will go back to the UK but let’s have one last good night together. Why don’t we get some drinks?’ I’d never been drunk, I was very trusting and still just 18. He got a bunch of alcohol and I proceeded to become intoxicated and I blacked out.” Did he spike your drinks? “I don’t know that. I don’t remember anything of that night. I went to sleep and he went back to Britain.”
“And then I went through a difficult time and fast-forward four years and I am dating Bria. We have a youtube channel and we like to make people feel good about themselves and make people smile. In June 2013, I posted a video called ‘my suicide story’ where I talk about an ex where I had a very unhealthy relationship and I had an ex who attempted suicide and although I never wanted to kill myself, I went through a very dark time; I wanted to make this video to help other people. And thousands of people say that it helped them, even say it saved their life.”
“Within a month after that video came out someone started posting things on our channel saying ‘Chrissy Chambers is a whore and a bad role model’ and they put a link and I looked it, my heart stopped. I saw my old apartment and my 18-year-old self getting raped on camera and I realised immediately it was from that night. He didn’t say we had sex, he just went back to Britain a few days later. I was passed out drunk and he took advantage of me.”
“Finding out felt like landing in hell and we were there for a really long time.”
Bria reaches to hold Chrissy’s hand, her eyes brimming with tears. “There was no guide lines for help , the webpage wouldn’t take it down and they wouldn’t call us back.”
“Bria’s dad was a lawyer and was able to send a cease and desist letter saying that this is rape and I was underage because on some websites you have to be 21. Some videos came down but we could not remove the thumbnails or the comments which included: ‘she looks dead’. The videos were linked to 37 different porn sites. At this point we were putting out videos and we had teenage fans saying, ‘I looked up to you’ but now I see you’re a slut’.”
Bria and Chrissy felt they had no choice but to keep going. The most frustrating part of the story was that no-one seemed to want to take responsibility. Bria, full name Bria Michelle Kam, says, “the idea of getting doors slammed in our face is an understatement. The UK police cared about the case but the Statute of Limitations on harassment had run out. It’s the six month window and the revenge porn law didn’t exist until last year and although it went into effect, it didn’t apply to a retroactive case. The police in Atlanta, where we tried to bring rape charges, acted like we were wasting police time. There was a general idea that they were thinking ‘this was your fault that this happened’.”
Now they finally have lawyers on their side and are pursuing a civil lawsuit in the UK. But a new ruling says that anyone wanting to file a civil lawsuit must pay five per cent of the filing fee to move forward. Revenge porn is a serious issue, saying it was a woman’s fault is like telling a woman in a skirt she asked for it when she got raped. Bria and Chrissy have started a crowdfunding campaign so they can actually get this case to court. If the case goes to court, it becomes not just about Chrissy, it becomes about every woman having the right not to be exploited and abused and tricked and publicly humiliated. It becomes officially not OK to post pornographic images and videos of your ex, or some woman you want to destroy, on the internet.
They have to raise almost $1,000 a day to make it work. Chrissy says, “if it doesn’t work, I will continue to do advocacy and speak on behalf of revenge porn victims and fight for law changes and campaign for new legislation. But I’d like to believe that people have heart and that they’d help.” I don’t know if it will really be OK if Chrissy doesn’t get her case, it’s more than even contemplating not bringing this case to court is too unbearable to think about.
Bria too is struggling. I tell them that they just have to hope and carry on. They will of course carry on. They will continue with their award-winning videos that like to take stereotypes and break them. Videos that are about sex but the opposite of porn. They’re educational, comedic. ‘Lesbian touches penis’ with its 27 million views was a Youtube sensation. Says Bria, ‘you dream all your life of having a viral video like that’. We don’t make videos with sexual content, we are making content to make you think we are making sexual content in order to make you think about other things.” These are clever, funny, wonderful women who may well be unstoppable in their desire to entertain, inform and amuse us but it would be wonderful if we could help them stop revenge porn.
Here’s the link to donate: []
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YouTube | BriaAndChrissy
YouTube | OurLesbianLove
www.BriaAndChrissy.com
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